I cheated

Once again I have cheated on my "currently reading" book list. I picked up Elizabeth Gilbert's "Eat, Pray, Love" book about two weeks ago and haven't put it down since. Of course, now I have also convinced myself I need to travel to Italy to learn Italian and then to India to truly reap the benefits of my yoga and meditation practice. I will add this to my "Things to do before I die" list. I wonder what adventure I will long for once I get to Part III of the book, when she is in Indonesia learning how to love.

This new text o' mine, reminds me of my own wants and longings. I am still torn between the battling desires within me, and perhaps always will be. What I am about to describe is my curse yet also the force that moves me forward. There is an existentialist inside me who demands to understand the world and know The Truth of our exsistence and grasp The Big Picture of the universe we live in. I believe God (for sake of a better word) is so much more than what any one religion claims. I believe that in order to understand the force (of energy, perhaps), that we call God, one must understand all religions and look at the universe comprehensively to grasp the depth of what is God. This requires a lifetime of seeking knowledge, travel, experience, medidation (some religions and cultures call this "prayer"). When I say lifetime, I truly mean lifetime, and even with an entire life of time one simply cannot experience everything there is to know on this earth before passing to the next place, heaven if you will, an unearthly exsistence. Nevertheless, knowing I will not accomplish all I wish to accomplish in this lifetime on earth, I, and those like me, try. Some get further than others, but the yearning is the same.

Then there is the strictly female biological desire to mother, nurture, to bear fruit from within. I cannot simply ignore this desire as some of my adventurous counterparts are capable. I have indeed tried, but my ambition to overcome my biological capabilities wavers. The desire is far too powerful. My domestication has proven inevitable and the part of me that celebrates this new experience (as she likes to remind the existentialist)is just as committed to her yearnings and as fierce in her self-preservation as her evil twin sister, aka the existentialist.

I have no other choice but to bring both the exsistentialist and the mother, whom battle for my thoughts and time to an agreement. A compromise. For they cannot be one without the other, because I am both.

Back to the literary interest:

Gilbert is witty, intelligent and has a great "voice." She is also the author of "The Last American Man", a biography about Ulysses Conway. He spent two years living on the Appalachian Trail. By the end of his journey he was running around in a loin cloth and tennis shoes and truly living off the land. Conway did many other amazing things, but this is the part of his life that appeals to me. An exboyfriend of mine (who also hiked the AT, not coincidentally) introduced me to this book many moons ago. I think he was reading it in preparation for his own AT adventure.

Perhaps due to the passing of that relationship I started the book and then put it down until all the ghosts of my past self and relationships were gone. Now that I am "this close" to being finished with "Eat, Pray, Love" the hankerin' to read more Elizabeth Gilbert (a kindred adventure and scribe with a Wander Lust that inspires many a good story)is dominating my literary cravings. I am looking forward to resuming "The Last American Man."

So, Howard Zinn's "A People's History of The United States", unfortunately, will have to share the back burner with Ayn Rand's "Atlas Shrugged." Such is life of a serial "currently reading book list" cheater.

Speaking of recently acquired books....I am very excited about my new Padma Lakshmi cookbook. She is the supermodel and host of Bravo's Top Chef reality show. Think Project Runway but with food and amazing chef judges. Also new to the cookbook shelf in my kitchen, "Skinny Bitch in The Kitch" -- a vegan recipe book, written in a highly humorous tone.